Negotiation: Rehearse and Visualise
Visualization is the theater of your mind.
It is a powerful tool, but it needs to be backed up with practice, where you physically move and say things, preferably with someone else playing the role of your problem person, or in front of a mirror if this feels more comfortable at first.
Don’t be shy or embarrassed doing a role-play, think of it as a bit of fun, which can teach you a valuable lesson about success and failure in critical situations.
Body language or non-verbal communication is very important in determining whether a person’s communication style is sensitive, aggressive, passive or manipulative.
To communicate effectively, you need to ensure that your body language agrees with your words, rather than contradicting them.
Listen to the 4.34 minute AUDIO if you prefer.
Make sure your body language does not contradict what you are saying.
Role-playing your script is a very important way of building your skills.
In fact, the more you role-play, the more ideas you get, new words, and body language strategies will also develop.
The essence however, is having full knowledge of your opponent.
Here is an activity for you:
Try delivering your assertive lines from the standpoint of one of the less effective styles, for example, aggressively controlling or passively observing.
That is, try delivering aggressive words with passive body language and passive verbal inflections.
The aggressive words will not have the same impact.
When people are confronted with mixed messages that is, if the verbal and nonverbal do not gel, they will tend to believe the message coming through from the non-verbal communication, not from your language.
Therefore, become more aware of your body language, and ensure that it reinforces rather than contradicts and undermines what you are saying – this takes practice.
Role-playing your script is a very important way of building your skills.
The point is also to try to get inside the other person, to understand her or his motivations and perceptions, particularly her or his perceptions about you.
You will find that, not only will you become more enlightened about the other person, but you will also learn a lot about yourself.
In other words, do not pre-judge, mirror the other person’s possible behaviour and see how it feels.
Here are some tips on pre-script preparation:
• Were there any word patterns or behaviour patterns used by the other person
• Was there any distinctive language?
• Always be observant of this person’s change of words and behaviours
• Keep a ‘conflict diary’ on this person
Keeping the above in mind, will
• Help you deploy the other person’s tactics towards you
• Make you more flexible in your strategies
• Ensure you are more prepared for the unexpected
The recommendations given in this posting may seem like a lot of work at first, but it is like constructing a solid foundation before you actually build a building.
Believe me, you will enjoy the preparation process this gives you.
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