Personal Development Answers

There can be no personal development in your personal life and your professional life without attending to the questions of

• How do you react when circumstances envelop you in conflict?

• What actually pushes your buttons?

• How quickly do you recognize that your buttons have been pushed, overtly or covertly?

• Do you have strategies in place to deal with the above?

• Do you re-evaluate these regularly and update them?

or

• Do you fly by the seat of your pants and hope for the best when conflict takes a leap at you?

The Concise Macquarie Dictionary defines ‘conflict’ as:

• To be in opposition or at variance

• Disagree

• Antagonism as of interest or principles

• A prolonged struggle

• Controversy

Interesting range of definitions, wouldn’t you say? Quite a range along the continuum of the word from mild to strong in the emotional response it can trigger.

Let us look at why conflict is on the increase.

Previously, people

• were taught to avoid confrontations of any description or degree as it was regarded as impolite

• avoided unpleasant situations because they were the catalyst for an unpleasant working environment  or relationship

• tended to work solo in their respective areas of expertise being compartmentalized

• accepted their place in the hierarchy of the work and social strata

If a person stood up for what he/she believed to be just, fair or logical, they were looked upon as being highly aggressive and looking for a fight.

Today

• People are encouraged to work collaboratively and it is expected, which leads to an intensification of the conflict level

• Avoiding expressions of differences is no longer accepted, nor is it viable in today’s fast-paced business world

• Solutions benefiting all stakeholders can only occur when working through a problem rather than applying the emu-method

Various types of conflicts can be recognized, the main ones are at the:

• Intrapersonal Level: This occurs when one person is at loggerheads with a group over what s/he feels is best for the team

• Interpersonal Level:  This is when one person is at loggerheads with another single person, or when a person intervenes between two people who are having a dispute

• Group Level: When a person is in discord with peers, one can identify the group level category

• Inter-group Level: This is where it gets a bit more complex and greater negotiation skills are required.  This level occurs when a person needs to intervene in conflicting groups

• Human Systems Level:  Apart from excellent negotiation skills, intervention at this level often needs the assistance of arbitration.  At this level, the organization as a whole may be involved in a wider publicity of the conflict such as in the media, and specialized personnel from the organization plus outside specialists may need to be brought in to deal with the conflict issue/s

As you can see from the above, with the growth of personal and professional freedom of expression, has also developed a more complex blend the conflict hierarchy.

To put the topic of conflict into perspective, let us look at the negative and positive aspects of conflict.

Negative Aspects of Conflict

• Time is wasted when an individual is not aware of what pushes their buttons and they how they then react.  Each individual needs to learn about themselves in this area and develop strategies to overcome any personal shortcomings when such situations arise

• Time is wasted when an organization does not have training programs set aside for their staff to develop the insight mentioned in the above point.  An organization also needs to demonstrate a clear, unbiased, empathetic policy that employees can refer to when conflict arises

• Stress is a bi-product of conflict

• Being distracted from the real tasks of one’s job when conflict occurs pervades not only those involved in the conflict but others as well

• The conflict affects others outside the immediate Levels mentioned above

• Conflict not only causes local disruption, but can also spread outside the organization, eg industrial action

• Conflict always damages relationships to some degree if not handled appropriately

Positive Aspects of Conflict

• Conflict identifies that there are different opinions in the organization, which is good, otherwise the organization would be static and eventually become a dinosaur.  Even Mismatches are valuable

• This recognition allows parties to discuss the different opinions

• Recognition of conflict provides a platform of opportunity for resolving differences

• This leads to new ways of thinking and behaving

• Communication is improved

• Leading to improved relationships

• Knowledge and learning increases

• All of the above positive aspects improve organizational outcomes

As with all aspects in life and business, the attitude you take is going to determine whether a circumstance is going to be viewed as

• an opportunity for growth for all concerned

• an opportunity to show respect and appreciation for those involved

• a desire to continue on your quest to live life ecologically, ie good and safe for self, good and safe for others, and good and safe for the planet

With these last three points in mind, conflict is a good friend, for whatever assists the individual to expand to their best self can only be an asset.

A final quote from Carolyn Schrock-Shenk validates the importance of training in the communication skills of conflict management and resolution:

True dialogue is not a life jacket when the boat is sinking.
It is the boat itself, and very clever crafting is required
to hold it together when the storm of diversity
inevitably crashes it about.

 

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