Personal Development Answers

This carries on from the last posting.

5. Force a Choice

• There comes a point in all negotiations and discussions when a resolution needs to be found.  Some people just cannot make up their mind, and need a little nudge.

• This is sometimes called a Double Bind when you say to a person, would you prefer this or this, and that person now needs to make a choice.

• It is also becoming very popular to use Tripled Binds, so as to really ensure a decision is made.

• Would you like to meet at this time, or this time, or this time: giving three options.

Click on the link to hear the 4.29 minute AUDIO.
[Read more →]

Share This

Tags: Assertiveness by Gloria Hamilten
No Comments »

Performing well in an encounter is analogous to being an actor. 

Everyone needs to plan and rehearse for an encounter which entails having prepared a script to avoid surprises. 

This does not mean that you need to rote learn a series of lines, but generic words, behaviours (body language, attitudes, tone of voice), and so on are best rehearsed in advance.

Therefore, I hope that you have really internalized the 7-Step Feedback Sequence of the previous article and will link these with the 9 Verbal Skills.

We have already considered the possible communication styles of ourselves and others in a previous posting, so don’t forget to keep these in mind as well.

Click on the link to hear the 4.17 minute AUDIO.
[Read more →]

Share This

Tags: Assertiveness by Gloria Hamilten
No Comments »

We have been doing quite a lot of work on Assertion Skills for quite a few postings.

This time, we will look at a very simple Seven-Step Feedback sequence to let another person know how you feel about a particular situation.

Remembering that assertion is simply saying it how you feel.

It has nothing to do with putting blame or responsibility for a situation on the other person.

Listen to the 3.44 minute AUDIO if you prefer.

[Read more →]

Share This

Tags: Assertiveness by Gloria Hamilten
1 Comment »

Rights are an entitlement, not a privilege.

Equally, however, rights come with responsibilities.

This balance is very important, otherwise behaviour can slip into aggression.

Listen to the 3.52  minute AUDIO.
[Read more →]

Share This

Tags: Assertiveness by Gloria Hamilten
No Comments »

At the end of the last posting, “Assertiveness and Outside Influences”, I said that we’d be looking at, managing stress to build up your confidence allowing you to go out of your comfort zone more frequently.

There are seven basic steps to stress management for self-confidence building:

If you prefer, listen to the 4.42 minute AUDIO.

[Read more →]

Share This

Tags: Assertiveness by Gloria Hamilten
No Comments »

At the end to a previous posting, “My Optimum Assertive Style”, I made reference to ‘outside influences’, which could affect your ability to be assertive.

By the way, how did you go with the exercise?

Did you think of a person you needed to be more assertive with?

Did you find a typical situation in which you might find yourself with that person?

And did you analyze the situation using the 5 X W-H checklist?

All the different skills, you can amass so that assertiveness becomes part of your every day behaviour, are worthwhile.

The exercise above will help you be better prepared when next dealing with a person within a similar situation.

Please listen to the 4.16 minute AUDIO if you prefer.

[Read more →]

Share This

Tags: Assertiveness by Gloria Hamilten
1 Comment »

How did you go with the previous two articles, “The Four Assertive Styles Detailed - Parts 1 and 2“?

Did you identify which style you preferred to use as a rule?

Are you adjusting your style to be more compatible with the Firmly Asserting style?

Have you recognized any of the four styles in people you interact with?

Recognizing other styles empowers you to the partly predict the behaviour these people may exhibit.

The 4.31 minute AUDIO is available for your convenience.  Extra instructions are given on the audio for the completion of the exercise.
[Read more →]

Share This

Tags: Assertiveness by Gloria Hamilten
1 Comment »

The previous posting, The Four Assertive Styles Detailed – Part 1, identified the characteristics of aggressively controlling and passively observing people.

This posting will detail warmly proposing, and the preferred one, firmly asserting styles.

And let me say at the outset that the headings given to the four assertive styles will vary depending upon the texts you take as reference and other research.

The actual titles of the styles are unimportant; it’s the differentiation that occurs in the behaviour between each that matters as reference points for comparison, and for developing your own preferred style to be as close as possible to firmly asserting.

If it fits better into your day, click on the 4.47 minutes AUDIO.

[Read more →]

Share This

Tags: Assertiveness by Gloria Hamilten
No Comments »

In the previous article, Assertive Styles - Pros and Cons the positives and negatives of each style was listed.

This posting will go into more detail about the characteristics of aggressively controlling and passively observing individuals.

The Four Assertive Styles Detailed – Part 2 will detail warmly proposing, and the preferred one, firmly asserting.

Please check mout the 4.03 minute AUDIO if you prefer.
[Read more →]

Share This

Tags: Assertiveness by Gloria Hamilten
2 Comments »

Non-assertive styles are aggressive, passive, and manipulative.

These can be effective, but characteristics of these can include dishonesty, bad feelings, time wasting, and conflict creation.

Rarely is a person 100% of any one style. Everyone tends to be a mixture of all four styles.

Here you can hear the 6.13 minutes AUDIO.

[Read more →]

Share This

Tags: Assertiveness by Gloria Hamilten
1 Comment »