Assertiveness and Outside Influences
At the end to a previous posting, “My Optimum Assertive Style”, I made reference to ‘outside influences’, which could affect your ability to be assertive.
By the way, how did you go with the exercise?
Did you think of a person you needed to be more assertive with?
Did you find a typical situation in which you might find yourself with that person?
And did you analyze the situation using the 5 X W-H checklist?
All the different skills, you can amass so that assertiveness becomes part of your every day behaviour, are worthwhile.
The exercise above will help you be better prepared when next dealing with a person within a similar situation.
Please listen to the 4.16 minute AUDIO if you prefer.
Back to outside influences.
These may include:
1. The influence of authority figures
• Such as a superior – this person could either advise you, or add pressure on you
• A member of the law – could protect you if physically threatened
• A medical person – could offer advice
• There are others of course
2. Rules/Regulations within the workplace
• Work guidelines – anti-bullying, anti-harassment, safety
• If such guidelines do not exist, why not? How can they be created?
3. External Rules/Regulations
• Equal opportunity legislation and agencies
• Industry ombudsman or watchdog
These are just some of the obvious ones
Here are some fun activities to do to cement your ever-increasing assertive behaviour:
1. Ask to share a taxi with a stranger on a rainy day (Make sure it’s safe)
2. Challenge a queue jumper
3. If you have a right to collect something, and the person says, it’s not ready. Make them away that a phone call would have saved you a long trip for nothing
4. Challenge a smoker when you see it is affecting you and people around you
Remember that being assertive has nothing to do with ‘pushing your weight around’, and behaving like a bully.
It is simply letting another person know how you feel, how the situation is affecting you, and doing it in a polite, courteous, respectful manner.
The other person is only thinking about how what they are doing is best for them, and more than likely, does not realize the effect that it is having on you.
It’s a matter of building confidence.
But how do you build confidence?
Deliberately take small, manageable risks daily, by doing or saying assertive things you would not normally include in your repertoire of daily living, personally or professionally.
Apply this to situations where the person is not one of your key players, such as the boss.
What you are trying to do is to get out of your comfort zone.
The next posting will deal with managing stress as you go through these processes of getting out of your comfort zone.
Have fun doing the activity!
[…] the end of the last posting, “Assertiveness and Outside Influences”, I said that we’d be looking at, managing stress to build up your confidence allowing you to […]