Personal Development Answers

This carries on from the last posting.

5. Force a Choice

• There comes a point in all negotiations and discussions when a resolution needs to be found.  Some people just cannot make up their mind, and need a little nudge.

• This is sometimes called a Double Bind when you say to a person, would you prefer this or this, and that person now needs to make a choice.

• It is also becoming very popular to use Tripled Binds, so as to really ensure a decision is made.

• Would you like to meet at this time, or this time, or this time: giving three options.

Click on the link to hear the 4.29 minute AUDIO.

6. Be aware of the Broken Record

• Some people will go on and on, repeating the same information, the same concerns without contributing anything new to achieve a resolution.

• You need to be aware of this tactic, and defuse it by guiding that person to contribute something new

7. Ask for Specifics

• If someone seems to be hedging (as in point 6 above), they could be confused.

• It is very important to ask them, what specifically is holding them back from making a decision.

• It is important here to look for ‘red flags’ or evasion tactics.  They may be avoiding the real issue and veiling it.

• More questioning is then needed

8. Decide on a Workable Compromise

• If all else fails, it is necessary to come to a resolution of sorts.  A negotiation or discussion cannot go on forever.

• Decide on what is the best workable compromise so that all parties feel that they have a ‘win’ of sorts.

9. Threats

• This should be used only as a last resort, and then proper legal advice should be obtained with possibly a mediator.

 Activity, using the 7-Step Feedback Sequence and the 9 Verbal Skills

• Ask members of your group to think of a situation or situations (work-based or personal) where assertiveness might be useful
• Prepare a feedback sequence and use the verbal skills
• Read out the scripts
• Have a group discussion
• Give constructive critiquing (not criticism)

Once you are comfortable with these you will be able to prepare a script with ease for your next negotiation encounter or discussion.

Another useful skill at this stage is visualization.

Remember to avoid negative mind-games and self-destructive messages.

Visualization involves positive mind-games of success which will help you develop strategies and verbal skills for use in your encounters.

Visualization is being increasingly used in many areas of personal development, not least of all in sport, where it is proving a useful motivational and planning tool.

Have fun with this. It is worthwhile mastering it.

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Tags: Assertiveness //